It can be difficult at times to explain what I am going through. Things might look trivial but are really odd in my head and gets reflected in my behaviour. There are majorly 3 types of states in which I generally am:
Yes, I had a severe episode of depression a few months back. But again it was not in my control. I am not myself when such things happen and that is scary.
It does not matter how much you all say to me that `don't think about it`, or `its not worth thinking`, or `get out of that phase`; I just can't. Because I just can't. It only makes me feel more low or angry or irritated.
I have mood swings. Many a times I feel like crying for no reason. And many a times I am happy, wanting to laugh, out of no where. There are times when I am lost in my thoughts as well and times when I just can't remember things. Please don't think I am going crazy. I know what is happening to me but it just is uncontrollable.
I don't need sympathy from anybody. That will just make me feel low again. I just want you to understand what I am going through.
My psychiatrist says that this is Bipolar II disorder. I am under medication and the psychiatrist has assured that things will improve for good.
But please, the only request for you is to understand that this is an illness just like any other illness, but in this case, it is related to brain. It is not madness or something which I am doing intentionally.
I hope you understand.
Your Dear Friend.